The Old Ways Are Embedded In Us And We In Them
Somewhere in another dimension or in the future or out of time and space, people or aliens, or Something our brain can’t grasp at all, are sitting together, talking about a particular society, one of many that populated the earth at the beginning of the 21st century. Curious about other forms of life and how they organized their own presence, someone tells how this society dealt with what was called justice back then.
The old ways are embedded in us, and we in them
Even though earthlings underwent considerable personal transformation, the structures of groups and organizations still reflected the dominant social structure, rather than providing an inspiring and clear vision of what social change could be. The internalized authority-based visions took over again and again. Earthlings were trying to find ways out of the mess, ignorant about invisible forces that stayed active and reached with its tentacles far into the tissues of how togetherness was organized, like the core beliefs of the domination system: Scarcity, Powerlessness and Separation.
Separation in the realm of justice
Finding out who’s right and who’s wrong was at the core of what was called justice. Coming up with what is “wrong” was, I guess, in the first place because one can see that certain behavior causes harm to others, and to the fabric of society. But then, it shifted into wrong-in-itself. Why it was “wrong” in the first place fell into oblivion and, with it, the capacity to see the impact on life. All that was left was the wrongness in itself. When focusing on right and wrong, there’s no need anymore to verify what impact actions have. See?. The invention of concepts like “have to”, “should “and “having rights” allowed earthlings to claim things, even though they don’t work for every- body. In contrast, the language of needs reclaims connection, vulnerability and flow to engage in a process towards finding solutions and checking capacity. Organizing togetherness around right and wrong led to disconnection.
All life is a process. Labels tend to deny that constant change
The dominant justice system handled labels like ‘victim’ and ‘aggressor’. Those kinds of words froze earthlings within a particular classification system, making it impossible for healing to occur. Labels tend to make it difficult to see the humanity and the complexity of people, to see their wholeness. Eager to get rid of what was not desired, disconnection occurred in relationship to the outer world, as well as the inner life. The prevailing feelings of disconnectedness were intensified by the dominant discourses that presented social problems as individual, as well as problem-solving as a matter for individuals, which created feelings of guilt and shame. Earthlings would see doctors to get medication, to go to therapy and would learn methods like ‘mindfulness’ in order to deal with disconnectedness… The narrative of individual responsibility made the possibility of deeper, broader change almost impossible, because it prevented earthlings from coming together to change the system as a whole. They tried to change things using the same systems that got them into the mess in the first place.
Connection and co-holding the dilemma as a pathway out of the domination system
Several justice systems existed on earth, but the justice system built on Power Over spread like an oil slick and accelerated collapse. In the justice systems that became niches, crime and conflict was not seen as something that happened between two parties. It was seen as having an impact on the whole community, based on awareness of interconnectedness. The dominant justice system focused on how to cause pain to those labeled the aggressor, it was called punishment, and isolated the aggressor from society. In the niche justice systems, the person who had harmed the community pulled themselves out of the community by that act of crime, and had to be inserted back into the community.
Crime does not take place in the material world. It takes place in the invisible world: in the relationship. The focus is on healing the relationship. Not only the relationship with one person, but the relationship with everything: the community, the environment… life itself. The victim may not dare to go outside anymore. His/her relationship with life and the things around him/her is affected. Punishing the aggressor does not change that. Healing does, as well as tapping into collective wisdom to come up with ways to make life richer, based on the awareness of needs.
Being flexible with strategies and tenacious with needs was another pathway out of the domination system.
Lots of earthlings were longing for change. To co-hold dilemmas. To hold everyone’s needs with care in interdependence, to contribute to make life richer by prioritizing connection beyond right and wrong. To bring tenderness back into the situation. Tenderness towards others and themselves. To mourn when actions were not aligned with purpose. To mourn pain, or helplessness, or despair.
Pockets of realizing visions of care were growing. Here an excerpt from an earthlings diary written in what was in big parts of the globe referred to as 2022:
We came together in the circle. I shared what had been difficult for me during the conflict last time. I made the observation: “I thought: X should leave the group.” Someone jumped in to give me empathy: “did you feel desperate and were longing for ease?”, “Yes… “. I felt my body relaxing right away. I had some other observations I needed empathy for. We went through that. One was my inner voice that judged me: “you as the trainer should be able to handle that conflict”.
Different people jumped in and gave me empathy. We were holding the dilemma together. Even though I was leading the group, I shared my vulnerability. That alone was a pathway out of the dominant structures.
I was in charge, not within the Power Over paradigm, not to tell people what to do and how to do it, and controlling if they did it, and did it right, but to serve life by caring for all the needs present. Also mine. Being the trainer did not put me in an isolated position where I ought to be strong and know everything, and when something goes wrong I had to take the blame and would be sacrificed by performing the ritual of stepping down from my position. Then it was X´s turn to receive empathy. “I never fit into groups”, he shared. Several guesses were made about what he felt and what need was not met, but nothing resonated with him. He stayed in his head. Talking a lot, explaining, navigating on the level of the story, on the level of what had happened between him and me in the session before. “Would you really want to experience belonging?” someone tried. “Yes, but I never do”. “Do you need to find trust that you matter?”.
He did not react right away. He looked rather surprised. Next his face relaxed. “Yes,” he said. He opened his mouth again as if he was going to add something, but just said “yes” again. And that was it. He did not need more empathy. So we went on to see how what had happened last time impacted those who were not directly involved in the conflict. Someone said: “I thought: Oh no, I hope this group does not fall apart like the group I was in before, because of one person who demands all the attention in such a negative way that, at some point, everyone leaves.” And again, whoever felt ready jumped in to give empathy. Just
asking: ”Do you feel… ?”, “Do you need… ?”. The circle went on till everybody who wanted had received empathy. In this particular case there were no new agreements made. We just mourned together to bridge the gap.
To be continued.
